I am actually quite surprised, but I have had some insatiable craving today. Visions of hamburgers, pizza, and Chocolate danced in my head. I tried to fill this with carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower, not the same at all. I then tried PB on celery...nope. It was bad, I was fidgety, palms were sweating, getting moody. It was ugly to say the least. I had to go all ninja voodoo mind trance on myself. I started to notice a connection to the feelings I was having.
So here's what I think happened. I received some negative feedback yesterday. I won't go into it, but I will say these people meant well, but there is no way that they could ever understand what I am going through. I took the criticism and advice in stride and went about my day. It took till that night and now the next day to get a reaction in me. All I wanted to do was sabotage myself. I was in shock when this realization hit me. This was the first time in my life I was open enough to my own feelings to see what was causing the emotional eating, BEFORE, I did the wrong thing. The moment this reality hit home, the craving went away, and I broke down like a little baby. I was seeing what I have been doing to myself all my life.
I have come to a place in my mind, where a theory emerged that I need your opinion on. Now before I say what I am going to say, I realize some of you will be afraid to respond, due to politeness. I am asking you to overcome this and give me your honesty. Even if you email me in private at papacheeto05@aol.com. Just please let me know what you think of this, after you give it some real honest review.
Obesity is a selfish rebellion physically manifested. I have my stories and examples that I feel support this, but for now I want your opinion on this statement. Tell me why or why you don't agree. Please discuss this with me because I think I am on the verge of a new step in my journey and the definition of my journey is being molded openly through you all as well. Only through truth is my destiny achievable, so if I am wrong, I need to know, but if I am right I believe there is some healing to be done.
11-19-10 Progress Report. I was able to overcome my cravings and stick to my plan. YAY!!
I dont know what to think of that statement. Im gonna have to think on that one for a while. At this point right now I totally disagree. I dont know if anything I said was negative feedback, but I truly hope not. However I must say this was quite a challenge, and one that you faced head on and moved through. That is outstanding James. I think the emotional breakdown you had was actually GREAT for you, and probably was quite liberating at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI will get back to you on the obesity statement when I have had some time to mull that over.
Love you and am wishing you well.
I think that is one way to look at it. If it's how you see obesity, then it's your truth. Every obese person has had their own unique path that took them to where they are, so the reasoning behind their situation is unique as well. It is certainly a physical manifestation of that path however.
ReplyDeleteWhat you described today is what is meant by "dealing" with your issues. You did exactly what you should have in order to succeed. Excellent job James.
I think it is partially correct. I do think that it is selfish because your weight doesn't just effect you but everyone around you. However I think it is a coping mechanism not a rebellion. Where you need to fix it isn't just focusing on your weight, but what you're doing and thats focusing on your thinking.
ReplyDeleteI am reading a book that is helping me and it is awesome you dont have to read it but what I am about to write is from it. "In Romans 12:2, we are taught that transformation is the result of a renewed mind. The apostle Paul writes," Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will." The idea is that you have to retrain your thoughts and feelings if you want to experience God's ideal for your life and get the most out of every moment of every day. Unfortunately, most people struggle to change or renew their circumstances(lose weight, fix their marriage, make more money), when they should be asking God to help them renew their minds. When our minds are renewed, circumstances take care of themselves." THE 4:8 PRINCIPLE BY TOMMY NEWBERRY pg 13.
I am reading this book and it has been teaching me a lot about being happy and having a joy filled life... its all about our state of mind. It is awesome. Well I love you brother and I think that what your doing is awesome. I know you can do it and you will. Keep up the good work! :)
Well I mulled it over, didn't come up with anything. Then I saw Andrea's post. I think it was very insightful and I agree with what she said.
ReplyDeleteI believe for most it's a way of coping with problems, but also I believe that not many realise that what they are using to ease the pain is also making it so much worse. It takes knowing that to be able to fix it. If you don't know what is causing your eating habbits then you don't know what you need to change to fix them. I think the next step would be to find something healthy to replace the eating in those hard times, it could be something as simple as writing a blog. =) I love you so much James and I am so very proud of you.
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