11-10-2010 Sleep study results - The Beginning!

Well, today I was hit with some reality. I feel like today I am being told by the universe that I have dug this hole too deep for myself. I started the day, like everyday, not being able to breath or even move because of my back. Getting in the shower and nearly passing out because I couldn't breath. Screaming at my family for no reason except that this was scaring me. Then after an hour of frustration due to getting ready and needing as much help as my two babies. I was finally off to the Hospital to get the test results from a sleep study I had done almost a month ago.

The results were more severe than I had imagined. The Doctor's actual words were, "In all the years I have been doing this, I have never seen as severe a case of sleep apnea as yours. Your breathing stoppage rate was at 198 per hour, and normal rate is supposed to be under 5." He then went on to discuss the dangers of my lack of oxygen and the concerns he has over my situation. I was happy to hear that I am definitely getting a by-pap with Oxygen induction, for when I sleep, but I was terrified to come to the realization as to why I needed this. {To learn more about this go here >>> http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-bipap.htm}

I am in the Morbidly Obese section of society. My weight as of today is 534 lbs. I am 33, a full-time student with a beautiful wife and two incredible kids, my boy is 5 on the 28th, and my daughter is two and a half. I have Low Back problems that keep me pretty immobilized. I also now have breathing problems, aside from the sleep apnea, that add to my lack of activity. I have very limited finances for "diets", and to top that I am an emotional eater. So when I get sad, bored, angry, upset in anyway, I will console myself with food or candy.  Usually the latter, but I have been known to eat really really well.

OK, so there it is, I am putting this out there for many different reasons. First, I need support, I really don't know if I can do this on my own, so any support will be greatly appreciated. All I know is I need to change NOW, because I am now looking at my end soon if I don't and I can not do that to my family. Second, accountability. I am the type of person who believes in the power of your word and this blog will be simply that. I promise all the readers and supporters of this blog that I will work everyday to get to a healthy happy me again. Third, this will be my place to get my frustrations out, kind of an on going soap opera for y'all I'm sure. Fourth, I hope this will inspire someone else to get started on the journey to fix themselves in whatever way they need. Lastly, this will be a record for me to motivate myself and look back on to see where I am at...or share with my kids later.

So again, there it is folks, the overview, my story, my pledge. I have talked about doing this blog for almost two years but was to scared or lazy to commit to doing this. Today, that changes. I love you all for your support and I hope to keep you inspired. James.