12-23-10 Thursday christmas weigh-in

I have not been able to do my program at all this week. I have been suffering with pneumonia and a severe bronchial infection for 2 weeks now. The only thing that I can say is I am starting to show some progress in my healing finally. I have slept so much lately, whether I wanted to or not. I haven't  had any energy to make the right foods, let alone work out, and they have me on steroids now so I know I am gaining weight at the moment. I am not letting this deter me, I just see it as a momentary bump in the road. I do ask for you prayers for me and my family because my wife is also fighting a severe bronchial infection, and my kids are both dealing with heavy colds. It is tough to say the least, but I know this is almost behind us. I know we are all going to need a week or two to detox after we get through all this, I have a pharmacy in the cabinet now. I have tried more garlic and oinions, but with all the other stuff I am taking, I don't know yet what that is doing. I believe the effects of everything else is too much for the natural effects to show through but I fear eliminating the drugs completely at this point because of the severity of our condition.

I am actually really tired right now so I am going to make this short. I have gained 2 lbs and I haven't taken my measurements, so next week I will be able to give you better stats. I am retaining water and I am taking steroids, so the weight of 506 at this point is meaningless. I love you guys and I hope all of you have a merry Christmas, I will get back in this next week and I will have better news. James.

12-16-10 Thursday's weigh in

This week has been about recovery and survival. I have been feeling drained and down with the culmination ending up in a full blown flu the last few days. I have been taking medications rich in sugar and alcohol, so my metabolism is going to need some work this next week. To speak of this week, for me, it resembles the feeling of being stuck on a frozen pond that only has a thin layer of ice separating you from a slow frozen decent into the eventual afterlife. I use this analogy because of the choices I have been making lately stopping me in my tracks. It is as if I had originally fallen through the ice, and climbed out of the ferocious undercurrent that would have surely swept me away. To now only be standing on this cracking ice a few steps away, frozen with fear and unable to move forward. I know the moving forward gets better with each step, and I have already come so far, but at this moment I stand here. I have had two weeks that I have been sabotaging the efforts from before, with decisions that I knew would be denigrating. I was just getting my resolve back on track, and then I got smacked in the head with this illness junk. Grrr, Argh, Blah...and all that. I wanted to scream, I have screamed, and I have still continued to make questionable decisions in my food choices. OK, so maybe it hasn't been that bad, but I am a bit frustrated with myself because I know I can do better. I know how to stop and think of my choices, stop and feel each bite of my food as if I were meditating on the texture and flavor, rather then just cramming it down. I know this and yet I have been cramming lately, eating a little bit more each time, and still being hungry after. So, like Thanksgiving, I found resolve to reinvent. I will be discussing this in more detail once I have an actual plan formed fully. Right now I am reading up on a few foods that are supposed to focus on your belly fat more specifically, and this is where I believe my focus will be in the near future. I will also be setting up a weekly menu and posting it on here, then my blog can be more of a review of how I did on that menu. I believe this may be easier to write, rather than a daily "what I ate today." I am only a month into this blog and so much has changed, I have been learning so much from all of you as well as on my own. I just want to continue to let you know how important you all have been in this. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.

Progress Report. Today the scale says I have not gained, but I have not lost either. I was not shocked because of the choices I have been making and the lack of exercise, coupled with all the medication and laying around this week due to being ill, and you have a stagnation situation. I have neglected the eating of my large salads before the caloric riddled meals, as well as the "Berry Vomit" very nearly being removed from my daily routine. I also did break one of my "survival" rules of not finishing food on another family members plate, once this week. Knowing this, I can fix it, and I will, going forward I will be planning out my days just like an alcoholic in recovery would. Whew, all this negativity in this post, for that I am sorry. I did however lose another inch around my waist. Maybe this is just a natural readjustment from previous muscle gain, because I have seen my bad choices and feel this is more likely the issue in the smaller numbers. Especially when I should have broken the 500 mark this week. No! It's still a win for the week, right? So, still 504, but now 70 inches around my waist. I love you all, and I continue to be inspired through your presence. This is me, fighting hard not to fall through the cracking ice, and suffer the promise of hypothermia, James. 

12-15-10 wednesday before weigh in

Hi guys, it has been a few days because of school, being sick, and various other interruptions. I don't see my schedule freeing up for a little while, so I think I will have to scale back this blog for a while. I will make sure to get the Thursday post in for sure, but due to this terms classes, along with the usual Straughn household spontaneity, I am having a really difficult time doing this daily.

I have been sick so I am not working out like I should. I did a good one the day before I started to feel this thing come on, but I haven't since then. I also have been really stressed about school this week, so I have been fighting urges, but I have been OK on my plan. I think if I had to give myself a grade for the week it would be a C on the exercise, and a B to B+ on my food. I have been looking into ways to eliminate the struggles I have been having, and I believe I may have a few ideas that will benefit my fight on the urges front as well as others who are looking for an easy program to follow that use some easy belly fat burning tricks. I will discuss this more in a later post as well as a daily food intake for those who want to know what I am eating on a more regular basis. This food diary portion may be a highlighted edition for a while, till I am able to start posting more again.

I have wanted to scream for help a few times this week because I feel helpless sometimes when it comes to some cravings. So that is why I think I am in need of a new approach. I will still stick with high fiber, low fat, but I need something else obviously, otherwise my body would not fight me the way it does at times. I am determined to lose this fat and get healthy, so these minimal set backs will not defeat me, but they still bum me out sometimes.

As far as a progress report, I will do this in tomorrows report with my weigh in. I am sicker today then I have been this week, so I am gonna call this good today, but I will be back tomorrow. Hopefully with some good news. I love you all, thanks for reading. James.

12-12-10 Quick update

I have to make this one short because of the amount of homework I have due today. I have been struggling and have not been able to shake it, the weigh in helped, but I have been too busy to really stick to my plan the way I want to. So inevitably I have been starting to feel down and cheated badly last night, it started out as an excuse because I was hungry and had not eaten for almost 7 hours, so I ordered a huge omelet and cheesy hash browns with a side of pancakes, with butter and syrup, from village inn. Then we ordered pie, because we were at village inn and that's what you do there right.

Last night I did the "I don't care cause I'm hungry" thing. The dark and sinister cousin of the F-U gorge. I also saw the return of another Nemesis, the "I can't leave that delicious looking, paid for food, on my wife's plate" monster. It was only 3 bites of chicken fried steak with pepper gravy and eggs, only one of my favorites, but still. I then sampled (we all did) everyone's pie and also eat half of my own. OK, OK, I know 7 hours wasn't that bad to go without food, but I did only eat a half sandwich, and a small bowl of cereal the entire rest of the day, and I was coming from a 1 hour hike through the re-enactment of the 70 mile journey the Jews took on there way to Bethlehem. A really cool interactive walking Christmas play. But now I am just making excuses. The fact is I made the wrong choice and i didn't care, this is what bothered me.

I made immense improvements in my life and lately I keep throwing that away. So today I started fresh, I dusted myself off and started new, I did my longer version of my exercise routine today, which means my whole Yoga and an additional 20 minute workout. Today I chose "The Biggest Looser Cardio Burn", and Holy of Holy's did it. I also did the BERRY VOMIT...BLEH! Both of which I have neglected for over a week...grrr. I also did something else, I found a new way to release some stress. I am an artist on many levels, but most of all I love the entertainment of it all. I also love to write and feel like there is a huge release from within when I do this. So combining these two passions I started a creative writing and poetry blog. Like this blog I want your input and perhaps your poems and such in the comments. I would love this to grow as well. Find it here...   http://mysanctuary-bigtea505.blogspot.com/  .... By doing this, I feel like I maybe able to release some emotional ties to my food constructively and stay firm to my goals here. Join me.


As always I am humbled by your continued support and prayers. I love you all. James.

12-09-10 Thursday's Weigh In

I've had a hard time this week finding time to do this blog. It has been a combination of getting stuff out for Christmas, medical scares, and tons of homework. I apologize to those of you who follow faithfully, even though this week seems like everyone has been hit with the busy bug....lol. I was doing the study for this blog on top of everything else and I just didn't have the time to do the work needed so I will pick it back up when things start to settle down. As for my diet, I have been really hard on myself this week because I felt like I was cheating a lot, but looking back and comparing to how I used to eat I was still doing really well.

I did partake in a few regrettable items though, like a cup cake yesterday, 3 extra pieces of garlic bread at dinner last night, lacking on my water intake the last 3 days, lacking on taking my "Berry Vomit", and lacking on my workouts (mostly due to injury, but still). I felt like my resolve was shaking, I felt like I had hit that motivational wall that you hit when first starting a new diet. I am talking about that moment that everyone realizes that they are doing well and they start to use that as a reason to treat themselves over and over again, and inevitably fall out of the diet. Its like the best friend who means well but keeps stabbing you in the back in the process, that little pat on the back that is poison for your program.

Everyone should know what I am talking about, you weigh yourself and see, lets say 20 lbs lost, and feel overwhelmed with joy. But the other part of that is you are really sick of giving up things to succeed, you are really tired of salad, you are really tired of the struggle of working out. So you decide, "I am doing well, so I CAN have this extra piece of cake" (or whatever treat), and never really show the same dedication, then your guilt and anger at yourself causes you to just say, "Well I've fallen this far I might as well enjoy myself for a couple of days and then I will start over." Then that couple of days never ends and you end up on the yo-yo and gaining all that you lost and then more.

I was doing this as a new way of eating, not just a diet. I do have a goal of loosing the weight, but I have a bigger goal of getting healthy and being a good example for my family. So when I started to feel the wall creeping in, I had to do an inventory and see that I was not viewing my journey the same as when I started. It had become a diet, and the chore of dieting came right along with it. The love for myself had slid into a loathing of my fat. This is the wrong approach. I had to re-evaluate, and not loose focus.

I learned a new factor to my addictions through this week though. I have a physical addiction to the way certain foods feel when I swallow them. This sound really weird, but it is the only way I can describe what what I mean. Flavor is a huge factor, but when a certain texture is added in to the equation, I go crazy for the food. If I don't satisfy that physical side to my eating, I am hungry or craving something else with in an hour. I discovered this last night, because the thought of McDonald's food makes me sick, but when thinking of the actual action of eating a Big Mac, and that mix of flavor and texture that a huge bite gives you, I want one in the worst way. I don't know what that is called, but I am exploring ways to satisfy, or at least relearn this reaction with other foods.

Any ideas?

12-09-10 Progress Report. Like I said, this week was a struggle, unlike any before. I have had to re-evaluate my approach and realize my true focus again. So, I was not expecting a big number at all this week. However, I have done a lot of strength training and Yoga, which is also doing strength training, so I really was not sure what effect, if any, that would have. Well, I lost another 10 lbs this week, the only thing I can attribute this too is the muscle gain from all the previous work I had done. Janell wants me to recognize that I am doing way better in my choices then I am giving myself credit for right now, but I know I can do better....lol. Anyway, I started at 534, and today I am at 504.2. My waist measurement was at 74 inches over a year ago and I know I was bigger when I started this, and today it is at 71, so I am on my way people. Once again I have to give you all credit for staying with me on this, the accountability has once again shined through trials that would have destroyed me before. I love you and thank god for your support everyday. James.    

12-07-10 Tuesday, Continued Studies and Updates

I had a plan to go very deep on nutrition this week. I have had to make some adjustments this week due to the unforeseen schedule destroyers, so I wanted to still share some good info today and then move on to my updates.

First, I wanted to cover sugars and fats. The main thing I feel everyone should recognize is the effects. The reason for this is because anyone can say do this or don't do that, but people don't listen to this kind of conjecture without a hint of evidence to back it up. I decided to cover both sugars and fats in this one post because they are so interrelated. The problem I am running into is the amount of detail needed to fully cover the sugar fat spectrum. So instead I am going to give you some great links that cover this information in a clear, short, but very concise list.The following links were chosen because of the variety of information that is covered as well as the shortest articles I could find with this information. Great places for further information aside from these are the mayo clinic, and Dr. Oz, both are great and very in depth resources.

Sugar: first know the names. There is many forms that sugar comes in, as well as foods that produce excess sugar in the body. Beware of all carbohydrates, this doesn't mean cut them completely, it just means know what ones you need, and what ones have no nutritional value what so ever. A couple of rules to help you find them when reading your nutrition facts labels. I'm sure I will miss some but this is a basic list.

#1. read the labels- not enough people just do this simple step.
#2. if the ingredients say enriched and or bleached in reference to flour or wheat...stay away.
#3. you only need 32 grams of sugar a day, if you know you will have a boost of protein in a sitting, then you can allow a few more carbs due to this being the fuel the body uses to process the protein. If you are trying to loose weight, stick to a lower number, between 15 and 30grams per day.
#4. corn syrup, dextrose, saccharin, aspartame, lactose, fructose, are all harmful if not monitored, natural sugar is the best and if needed should be the only sugars consumed.
#5 carbs are sugar, sugar is simple carbs.

If you start studying anywhere start here, know what's good and what isn't. here's the links to get you started.

http://www.healingdaily.com/detoxification-diet/sugar.htm
http://ezinearticles.com/?Sugar-Lovers-Beware&id=9389
http://www.organicnutrition.co.uk/articles/is-sugar-bad-for-you.htm
http://www.lifeclinic.com/focus/nutrition/carbohydrate.asp?printpage=true
http://www.lifeclinic.com/focus/nutrition/sugar.asp

Fats: There are four to be aware of! Read you labels!

Unsaturated, (polyunsaturated and monounsaturated), The good fats.
Trans, unnatural and bad cholesterol (LDL) causing. Partially Hydrogenated oils = Bad fat
Saturated fats (Four Legged animals, tropical oils, some poultry, as well as dairy) = Bad fat.

http://www.odec.ca/projects/2004/thog4n0/public_html/typefat.html
http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=532
http://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/cells-tissues/fat-cell.htm

OK, that's enough homework for those of you not aware, or even those wanting more details on these. For those of you who know about these things I expect feedback and more references.

12-07-10 Progress Report. I have had a few days of emotional trials and non stop busy-ness, so I feel my food has not been as good as it should be. However I feel like I have made up for this in my working out. This is no excuse for the dessert I had at dinner last night, but I am overlooking that at the moment...lol.

I did the entire Yoga workout without struggling, this is huge because I have been doing this workout for more than two weeks and I have had a few spots that caused me to drop a knee or stop that part early. I was not dealing with this issue at all on Sunday. I did the whole thing and was ready for more. I then moved on to a one mile walking workout that was actually perfect for me. It offered a substantial challenge, but I was able to do the whole thing only struggling in the peak of the workout. The pace was high but I kept my breathe. This was huge considering my hips and back factoring in to walking in general, and not previously allowing a great distance for me to travel.  So, WOO HOO!

So the last thing that I did was a gift for my Uncle Scott. This is a man who is revered in our family as a true hero, a real manly man. He has conquered two of the four main military corps, earning incredible honors and ranks. He has traveled into deployment with honor and valor, only to come home just as gentle and kind as before he left. I love this man, (no "alternative" overtones in your mind please...lol). This man has decided to add more push ups to his daily workout, matching the amount that I do. Now, maybe its a guy thing, but when your bro, your buddy, your pal, lays down a challenge like that. YOU CAN'T BACK DOWN!! Now I would be disrespecting his commitment and love if I did not do all I could to share some of my struggle with him. So out of complete honor to his efforts to support me (<<<not kidding here), I had to do as many as push ups I could humanly manage. Now I remind you, my last weigh in was 514 and I have not worked out like this in at least 15 years, and I have been nearly docile for 2 years. I did 20 push ups. I did it in three sets 12,5,3. And they are girl push ups, but I did them and freaked out everyone in the house, including myself. I was done at 12 and really struggled to get that last one, then I sat there and said that's not enough, Scott deserves more from me, so I squeezed out 5 more. Then I was so close to 20, I had to keep going. The last 3 were probably the hardest push ups I have ever done in my life, each one harder then the last but I heard scott screaming in my head pushing me on. He was like " HOLY SH^!...I HAVE TO DO HOW MANY MORE?"....Yah baby!

Anyway, this has been an ugly week and I am working on getting it back on track, as always I love you all and thank you for reading and supporting me in all the wonderful ways that you do. James.

12-5-10 Sunday - Recommended Nutrition Amounts

I have been reviewing the information that you all have been giving me and it has lead me to a few discoveries that I want to cover over the next few posts. First I found a style of eating that covers all of what I am going to discuss, Mediterranean. I will go more into this later, but first I want to talk about focus and recommended amounts.

My goal and focus is essentially long lasting good health, so what does that actually mean? I have decided to start covering this more in every post. First, I have recently found that my focus on the numbers from the scale, are not the most prominent answer to this question. This can also become very frustrating if you are running into stagnate numbers on a scale even if you are feeling better. The main thing to remember in this case is that everyone has a different muscle and bone density, so the healthy number on a scale for you, will be different from everyone else.You and I should actually be focusing more on our Body Mass Index (BMI). Healthy BMI, is actually very easy to calculate because your height should be twice what your waist is in inches. For you to be with in the optimal (safe) health range, you need to know that the most dangerous fats that you retain in your body, are stored around your waist. So I am 6'1'' tall, which is 85'', so my waist needs to be at or preferably below 43", because my waist is bigger than this, I am putting unhealthy amounts of toxicity and pressure on primary organ function, like the liver, heart, and kidneys. Giving your body its daily intake of vitamins, nutrients, and trace minerals is essential and great to help support healthy organ function, but this should be part of a larger plan and not your only focus as mine has been so far. I also know there are many things you should do to help your body cleanse itself, and I have not implemented these enough. I will cover this in a later post.

The most over looked toxic items in our diets, are the "too much of" items. I am speaking of the different kinds of fats, our sodium (salt) intake, and the sugars, most of which are in our foods already. For example, we need sodium in our diet because it is used in essential muscle function as well as balancing bodily fluids. However, too much is a killer, so how much is safe? lets use a teaspoon as a measure. 1 teaspoon is equal to 4 grams. If you have high blood pressure like me, then you should not exceed the following amount daily.1/3 of a teaspoon of salt or approximately 1.5 grams of salt, (1500 milligrams). A normal amount for anyone else is only a little more than 1/2 a teaspoon, or 2400 mg and most of your packages calculate for 2500 mg, this is already wrong for everyone's diet. Pay attention to the grams or milligrams on packaging and do not exceed the amounts recommended because too much salt throws your entire system out of balance. The adverse effects from too much salt include all the leading causes of heart disease and are largely overlooked. Everyone focuses on fats, calories, and sugar, but most people forget about salt.

So now that we know 4 grams are in a teaspoon, we can visually see the scale more easily that is on the "Nutrition Facts" on everything we eat. There are a few discrepancies, but this is actually a good scale to follow. However, this is generalized, so I recommend getting your blood work done at your doctor, and get a more definitive chart to follow from your doctor. I have high blood pressure, so some of the things on this general scale are not right for me and following this scale blindly will still put me at risk. Knowing your own numbers are the key to long lasting good health as well as weight loss.

So, I have decided this post should be a general overview and to break all the information up into a few posts because of the details, and I don't want to be too boring on here. So tomorrow we will get into sugar and fats. Now onto my progress report!

12-5-10 Progress Report. My plan is going well, I did have some hamburger yesterday (which is high in saturated fats...more tomorrow) but I feel I didn't go overboard because it was balanced with the rest of my day. This study is largely to help me eliminate cravings (like hamburgers) and make it a little easier to follow my plan. Sodium intake has a lot to do with cravings! I didn't workout yesterday because of my back, so today I have prepped and I will be doing my Yoga as well as a simple 1 mile walk video that I found. I am excited to get back to working out, even though I am procrastinating right now and continuing to write words into this really long sentence so as to avoid having to actually do the work that I am bragging about so heartily in this motivational post designed to fix my life and rejuvenate my spirit both of which are done through Yoga as well and I should really realize this and get off this blog now instead of continuing this clickity clack of my keyboard which is so relaxing and helps my meditation and is part of the whole healing thingy too right?.....whew...OK! I am off to contort and drench. I love you all, and thank you for being on this journey with me. James. 

12-4-10 stress reduction saturday

A lot of people expressed concern about yesterdays post. I want to clarify a few things. I promised not to go into detail, but yesterday I received some bad news about someone very dear to me and I was stressed about it. I am still dealing with it but today has been better. I am still doing well and I am not the one who I was worried about yesterday. I do apologize about all the ambiguity but I promised not to expose the situation on here because of the amount of readers and this person wanting to maintain their privacy for now.   

So good news today! It has been probably 4 months since the last time I was able to drive due to a few reasons. One, I couldn't fit, my belly was too big to be able to get in past the steering wheel. Two, I would start to get painful back spasms, and that's just dangerous. Three, I had a hard time steering and checking blind spots. Well, I drove today. I was able to squeeze in to the drivers seat, my belly was on the steering wheel but I could still steer. I had no trouble with spasms or checking the blind spots. I AM MOBILE PEOPLE!!! (Yoga! Yoga! Yoga! Everyday I find more and more reasons to love this torturous pretzel impressionism,) ...(Ohh wait ... I now know how this exercise was created. It IS pretzel worship! It was a form of artistic dance that was created to pay homage to the unfulfilled carb addictions of some sick and demented dieting freak....who actually was probably an accidental genius....so thank you you stretchy bastard, for helping me restore my mobility...oh and sorry about the no pretzel thingy). Getting in and out of the car is still a bit rough, but I can finally do it. This triumph has not only been incredibly sweet for me, but my wife can breathe a little easier about the times I am here with the kids alone. I have said it before and I will say it again, you don't know how much you miss something till it's gone.

As far as stress, the name of the game for me has been reduction. I love this blog for that. I re-read them all, as well as the comments, and found my center again. I was also blessed with some very supportive family members who called as soon as they read that I was having a bad day. I also love you guys, some of you went out of your way to make sure I was uplifted, I Thank you so much it really means so much to me that you are here.

As far as working out, I am now in my third day of rest due to over doing it Wednesday. I believe I pulled a muscle in my mid back so I have been taking it easy. I am going to try the Yoga warm up after this to see how it feels, if I don't have too much pain I will continue. I will update you on this tomorrow.

12-4-10 Progress Report. Recovery and refocusing while reducing stress. I love you all, and as always I am humbled by your being with me on this journey. James.

12-3-10 Friday's post

Today has been incredibly stressful. I won't go into it, but I have felt incredibly tested emotionally today. The result is causing me to not even come on here today. Bleh...sorry....Anyway, I have made a discovery that may actually be effecting my mood as well. I think I have a food allergy.

I started feeling sick and getting cramps and spasms in my back after I had a raw PB and local honey sandwich earlier. I was eating PB&H all the time before I had started this diet and I am wondering if I was having a reaction to it before. Because with some of the crappy-ness I am feeling, I am reminded of the feelings prior to starting this diet. I did also have my acupuncture and massage yesterday so that could also be part of it. Even the stress and lack of sleep from today, but the timing has me leaning towards a food allergy at the moment. If this is the case, I think something positive could come from it. I may have discovered a trigger for symptoms that destroyed my mobility before. There is also the fact that I killed myself in my workout Wednesday night and I am showing those effects still. Again I have to defer to the timing of my symptoms though. I will be testing this out, and I am kind of hoping that I do have an allergy because I could focus on that as well. I could be even more productive in the changes I am making.

I do have to say the events of today have left me struggling with cravings and not even feeling the workout. I am trying desperately to shake that mood because I don't want to sabotage my progress. I am praying for some enlightenment and inspiration today. I love you guys and I will let you know tomorrow how it goes. No progress report today. Love you all. James

12-2-10 Thursday Weigh in

A LOT OF INFO TODAY...buckle up!

This has been a difficult week, full of emotional trials, and GARGANTUAN temptations.Thanksgiving was an incredible test, and I was almost completely successful. I started working out because of that nights gorging and my greatest progresses have been since. So I am no longer looking at Thanksgiving as a failure (like I did the next morning), but rather a turning point in my attitude to one of determination. I am training myself now like an athlete before a championship match. I look at food as fuel and the flavors that I crave are a chance for me to find out what my body needs and thrives on. I love myself like never before. I am completely satisfied with the moves I have made, even the little bumps in the road that are inevitable. I have an incredible family and cheering section that has pulled me through some very turbulent moments, and my gratitude is eternal, without you I would have given up on Thanksgiving.

I am seeing a pattern in the posts here and in my email. People are not completely clear as to what my program is like. So I will give you the basics here and hopefully that will help you understand what is working and what isn't, and the advice can be more specific as has been requested.

I am on a high fiber, low calorie diet. I drink at least a gallon of water a day, and either 1 glass of 2% milk or 1 ounce of cheese. To be more specific. I am doing a rotation in my mornings between a High protein and a High fiber breakfast, this swapping helps me to keep my metabolism guessing and less likely to slow down because of the lower calories I am now ingesting. This has also allowed me to see how my body reacts to each. I do have fiber and protein in every meal, but the protein is far more scarce than the fiber as a whole. Fiber comes in many forms and it is important to get all the forms in your diet. You get fiber from Apples (and starchy fruits like that but Apples are the best), green veggies, well all veggies, nuts, beans, and whole grains. You can also get fiber in dairy but the fat content is a negation to the benefits of the fiber. Proteins also come in many forms, meat, poultry, and fish, of course, but nuts, beans and lentils, along with some veggies and fruits as well. OK, so an average breakfast example would be either a half cup of cottage cheese or oatmeal, a piece of fruit or melon, and a half cup of whole grain (like grape nuts etc.) or nuts, I love raw almonds. Caloric intake is in the range of 400-700 and I feel energized. I also have a raw super-food elixir called "The Vitamin Code" 1 ounce, that I take with breakfast...this is the BERRY-VOMIT!!! BLEH...but it really works and it is rich in trace minerals that we are all deficient in.

Lunch consists of a bit more flavor depending on the breakfast I had. I will usually have a whole plate size salad with 2-3 different greens including spinach, carrots, fruits, possibly some cheese, tomatoes, and some kind of nut or bean. Then if I am still hungry I will have a hearty organic soup. This is also the time of day that I will have some small portion of meat, usually chicken or fish, and if I am going to allow a sweet in my day it will be with lunch. What I mean by sweet is like bananas, these organic berry flavored chips that I found by "YOGI"...mm-mm, or I will have a square of my organic Belgium extra strong dark chocolate. It contains 77% cocoa content and is highly dense in antioxidants. This chocolate was a bit intense the first time I tasted it, but now I let it melt in my mouth and it really is very good. The flavor starts like an lightly sweetened espresso and slowly transitions to a fruity blend of chocolate and coffee. It covers my coffee and my chocolate fix at the same time, but again, I don't eat that everyday, but it has eliminated my chocolate and coffee needs almost entirely.

Snacks will consist of a piece of fruit, berries, or nuts.

Dinner is always a huge salad  and whatever protein or fiber I have left to consume for the day, and if I need more (which is rare), I will allow an Emily size (my 2 year old) portion of the dinner my wife and kids are eating. I use the FDA scale for the recommended intake for my fiber and protein, but I am thinking I am nearly doubling that in my nutrient and mineral intake.

The dressings that I use on my salad is low sugar, and they mostly consist of oil and vinegar, but I am still sparing on my use. As for my total calories for the day I end up between 1900 and 2200 everyday, and my recommended amount for weight loss is 4300 (isn't that crazy?). The basis of my diet is also Raw organic with as little processed or cooked as I can handle.

As you know I have also started working out. My "last chance workout" yesterday was a test of my progress. One week ago I attempted a 20 minute beginner boot camp class. I was dying just in the warm up and only lasted about 4 minutes steady, I continued going as much as I could through this class but only did another approximately four minutes cumulatively, including 5 push-ups. I then found Yoga and I have been doing that everyday since and the strength and mobility only a week later is incredible. So, I started yesterdays workout by doing a different Yoga class, it was a 47 minute class and I did about 15 minutes of it because I was using it as a warm up and didn't want to kill my body on this alone. Then while searching the menu for this boot-camp class that killed me, I found two dance workouts that I had to try. I did ten minutes of a hip-hop class that almost made me puke from the intensity. Then I did the Merenge class for about 3 minutes. I was not coordinated enough for that yet, but it was fun and I will be working on that one. I took a break between each and was determined to see where I stood against this boot-camp class. I was already sweating like "working girl" in church when I began, but to my amazement I lasted 11 and a half minutes. I was hurting and out of breath so I ended the workout, but not before I did 6 push-ups. I ended with my original Yoga class cool down and started crying when I realized what I had just done. In just one week I went from barely able to even warm up, to this. I am not saying my working out wasn't an ugly mess, but I was able to go for a lot longer than I had ever imagined. I spent all of an hour and a half, with breaks included, on the workout and the feeling today is unbelievable. The other benefit of the Yoga is the stretch keeps me from cramping and spasm, so even though I did all this craziness and killed myself, I actually handled it quite well. So, for those of you taking the Yoga challenge with me, (I got a little verklempt when I read that...I love you guys) The results will blow your mind, stick to it.

12-2-10 Progress Report. Today, I went to my Acupuncturist, and because of how soar I am I am taking the day off from working out. I also had 3 celebratory doughnut holes, and coffee, but that's the only wavering I have done. OK are you ready for this....drum roll please. I started out at 534 on the 10th of November. I lost 8 lbs the first week, 2 lbs the second. And I had the incredible and challenging week listed above that resulted in a 10 pound loss this week. Imagine my surprise, I was retaining water this morning and was very skeptical, to only be nearly floored with the 513.7lbs reading on my scale. I attribute this success to my failures, my working out, my wife's incredible love and wisdom, and finally YOU. You have no idea the amount of motivation your support gives me. I have purpose beyond myself and a constant reason to continue. I love you all, I am so honored and humbled to have you on this unbelievable journey, and I am always hoping to continue to inspire. James.

12-01-10 Yup, it's Wednesday

Today, I received a call for conformation about my bi-pap order. I woke up with a headache so this was good timing I suppose. Anyway after a year I am finally getting this equipment and hopefully I won't need it for very long. I am feeling alright today, its kind of a blah day so far so I need to shake that somehow. I did realize that my cravings may be tied to a lack of vitamins because since Thanksgiving I have been pretty lax about taking my Berry-Vomit stuff. bleh! Anyway, I took it last night after a two day hiatus, and I felt better. I am wondering now if my headache isn't because of toxins being released and needing to be flushed out. I will look into that more and let you know.

One thing I will be doing is more push-ups today. Last chance workout today and I want to check my progress, so I will attempt that 20 minute challenge again, tomorrow I want a decent number. I need it after the week I've had, but I know I may pay for some of the mistakes, so my fingers are crossed. I am very excited to see where I am at though. 

I want to take a minute to say to those of you who have been posting on here, Thank you. I know I don't respond to most of the posts directly, but i do take the advice and try the tips that are given. I want you to know that they are all great and the information in these comments has been outstanding. I decided when I did this that it was going to be very interactive. I wanted to make you feel like this is as much your blog as it is mine, because good information given on here may save a readers life as well as mine. So I want you all to know how important your posts are. I believe this is Gods will that I do this post, and the people who might be touched are being blessed through your words as well. So again, please keep it up, I love you all. and I will save my progress report for tomorrows weigh in. Off to sweat like a cold glass of ice tea on a hot humid summer day. James.

11-30-10 More truth

I have done good in many ways since Thanksgiving, but I have been battling cravings even more since then. I believe I may need something in my diet that I am not getting, but does that justify slipping off my plan? I do need to find out what I need, so how do I achieve this without a binge incident? I am seriously asking all of you for help in this because I did it again last night. I know most of you have said this is something I should not get down about. However, for me this is an issue of control.

To allow for better understanding, here's what happened. It was once again the middle of the night. I had reheated the last of the Thanksgiving leftovers for Janell and she had left it out after she was done. About an hour later she went to bed and i saw it still out and I finished the remaining Green bean casserole and the candied yams, there was about a cup of each, maybe a cup and a quarter. The whole thing made me sick, and today I feel body pain, I had a headache, and I was nauseous most of the morning. I am just glad that I don't have to see any more of the leftovers, but why do I do this?

I feel horrible about throwing food away. I grew up knowing what it was like to go through times not having food. My mother was a single mother of four, and we seemed to never get ahead. We knew desperation at times. I was also sent to my grandmother's due to my abusive step father and I would gorge myself at my grandmothers, almost uncontrollably. The worst thing is she would defend it to anyone who caught me, also due to the "emotional damage" I had because of my step dad. I feel like this might be where some of this control issue came from, as well as the need to finish all the food and not waste any of it.

I have known this was a problem of mine for a long time, and I thought I had dealt with it in counseling, but I now feel very frustrated because it has such a power over me when it hits. In that moment I feel like I am compelled to not waste anything, and I get really mad when there is something thrown out. I don't know what to do because I can be doing so well and than it just hits me at the least prepared moments and I fall. I need your thoughts.

11-30-10 Progress Report. Frustrated, flustered, and utterly disappointed in myself. I will be doing Yoga after this post, and I have done it everyday now, but I don't want this to be due to guilt, it needs to be because I like it and want the results it gives. I am not as down on myself as I was on Thanksgiving and I think that is due to the Yoga as well. However I need to find out why this is happening and the scientist in me is grumbling...lol.

On a side note, if this is the first time you are reading, I invite you to please read all the posts so as to get an idea of where I am in this. I love the advice I receive, but it means a whole lot more if you know what I have been covering.

I love you all for following, I am completely humbled and honored that you are along with me in this journey, thank you more than you will ever know. Lastly, read my wife's comment post from yesterday's blog, she is my light house in the storm, this will give you an idea why. I wish she knew just how wonderful she is. I love you honey. James.

11-29-10 Fun with the kids and working out

So, I missed a day for my post because of a combination of Nathaniel's birthday and school stuff, sorry. My boy is so excited to be 5 years old though. He can't wait for school, and he wants to be home-schooled, which we are wanting to do as well. It seems like just yesterday we were at the hospital and I was holding him for the first time. :(... My boy actually got three days of birthday this year, so we were very busy, and he was in heaven of course. I was seeing many more triumphs during these days though, and it's so great.

I first must tell you what it was like for me to get ready to go anywhere before I started, in order for you to understand. I would have to prepare for my shower by stretching my back and making sure my hips were aligned. I would lay a certain way to get them to "pop" back into place and then I would have to recover from that. This took anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours sometimes, all due to the painful back spasms that would occur. I would then get in the shower and have to use long towels to get everywhere, this was a workout and I would struggle and run out of oxygen, so I would need to recover during and after the shower. Another 30 minutes to an hour there, and sometimes if my back was really bad I would need help from Janell. Then once I was able to get dressed I would need help with my shoes and socks, once again because of my back, hips, and my belly for this is a problem. After all this, if I over did any of it, I would have to stay in the car or ride a cart in the store to go anywhere. I was in hell.

Well, the last few days, I have not only had no problems getting ready, but I have not needed any help and I have been able to breathe without having to stop at all. Today, we went to Peter Piper Pizza for Nathaniel's final Birthday play-date. This place is a fun-house pizza place like Chucky Cheeses, and if you have been there you know just how crazy it gets in there. I kept up with the kids the whole time. I only sat down a couple of times. My back was fine and I only started to get a little pain in my hips toward the end. We must have been there 2 1/2 - 3 hrs. You know how they say you never know how much you miss something till it's gone, well this was certainly one of those things. I have seen the disappointment in my sons face when I can't play with him, and I never want to feel that low again.

I attribute this to my recent working out. I started a few days ago with the guilt workout that nearly killed me, but I have been able to keep going through yoga. I am determined to get my strength up to a point where that other workout is able to be accomplished. Now, about Yoga, OUCH! I mean wow, it is really impressive how painful that can be. Yes people, stretching comes with various settings; there is the AHH setting, the OOOHH setting, and the SOMEBODY SHOOT ME setting.

Now I know of the first two because I have felt them along time ago, in my younger years, when I was an athlete. Now I go straight to the final stage and dream of passing out to end the pain. Visions of unconsciousness dance in my head. I think the person who invented downward dog should be thrown into a kennel of hungry Kujo's while wearing a suit made out of raw steaks. I especially dislike the oh so positive tone of the workout instructor when they say, "mmm ooo doesn't that feel so good, such a good stretch....just breath into it," while you could mix paint on the shaking my ass is doing, and my loud wheezing is making the neighbors look outside for some lost wandering 90 year old asthmatic. UGH! But just as the pain gets almost unbearable, my muscles get really warm and start to release, my back pops, and my breathing regulates. I feel euphoric and energized by the time I am done. That doesn't mean I am not soar the next day though, another ugh there I'm afraid. I am noticing ease of movement already though, and I like it. I love the bonding that working out provides for my kids and I, and the other day Janell did Yoga too, I am so happy with the changes that are happening now.

11-28/29-10 Progress Report. Contorted and bruised, twisted and ringed, but happier than I have been in such a long time. I love you all, and hope your having as much fun with this blog as I am. As always I am so humbled and honored to have you along with me on this journey. James.

11-27-10 Guilt Workout

Yes, I tried to workout yesterday out of shear guilt. I went to my on demand feature for my cable and selected something on Exercise TV. They have a lot of different workouts for you to do, ranging from the very basics to a one and a half hour boot camp workout. I watched a few to find the easiest one that I thought I could handle. This was very revealing. I selected the easiest class but it was 20 minutes long. I was already skeptical, because at 523.8 on my last weigh in I am still a lot to move. I am still having a hard time breathing when active, and 20 minutes to me, might as well be the hour and a half boot camp. I decided to watch it through once and learn the moves so I could transition smoothly while I worked out. This proved to be somewhat helpful, and humbling. As I sat there learning the sequences, not only was my son doing the whole workout, but I was getting winded just moving my arms around and pretending like I was doing the exercises. I was convincing myself that I'm just not warmed up yet so as to stay positive and still be able to actually start the work out.

My son is such a motivator, the whole time he was learning the exercises on the first run through, he kept saying this is fun daddy, you can do this daddy, just watch me daddy and do it like this. I was so amped by the time I started the actual workout that I forgot about all the negative thoughts I was having. I love my boy so much it's ridiculous...lol. Anyway, I started the 20 minutes, the lady put a clock on the screen which I think was just to torture you! I went through the 2 minute warm up and I was feeling pretty good, my back wasn't hurting, and I was still breathing relatively well, and my kids were right there working out with daddy, both cheering me on. I was getting into it. So the pace started to pick up and it was as if she read my mind through the TV, I immediately felt my back starting to show signs of cramping and spasm, as she said "you can do this!" A determination was welling up inside as the we started to go through the first set. It was starting to get harder to breathe and my back was not backing down, so in a panic I looked at that big blue clock...it had not even been four minutes including the warm up. I decided right then that I had to keep moving even if I couldn't finish the whole workout. I started to just walk in place to try and catch my breath. the timing was perfect because she started to do squats....HAHAHA ya not happening. My boy was like it's OK daddy you can do it, let's go! lol.

I felt so guilty about Thanksgiving night that I just had to do something productive, if for no other reason then to restore my own self confidence. Up to this point of my workout, I had already learned something about myself, I am stronger than I had been giving myself credit for, and I have a lot of work to do. I was in this walking in place point of the workout when I could not breathe, I was struggling to get any air and I started to feel faint so I had to stop. Angrily, I sat down for a few minutes and I caught my breath. The moment I felt OK again, I stepped back into where the video was at and tried to continue. At this point the video had gone to the floor, I did FIVE PUSH-UPS! I am 524lbs people...AND WHAT FOO...YE-UH!  (((hands up while saying this and head wobbling showing attitude on my face))) lol.

Well, OK, so they were girl push-ups, aaaand my belly made them more like roll-ups, but hey...I did them.

Anyway, the video finished that part and started to get back into the cardio/leg work. This time it had incorporated some Kenpo Karate, so I was getting into it since i had studied this as a child. I was trying to tell my son the moves we were doing and my breathing started to catch up to me again, but this time my back did have it, as I was throwing the last set of punches I got stuck turning to the left. I grabbed my back and waddled wheezing to the couch. So there I was, stiff, soar, sweaty, wheezing, and gingerly placing myself on the couch, realizing that I had made an effort. I was a little shocked at what I had done and embarrassed by how little I had done, it was an odd sensation. But, I changed my defeat from the night before into a triumph in that moment.

11-27-10  Progress Report. I am starting my round two training with a bang, though i know my working out may be premature, I needed this to prove to myself that I am on the right path. I stuck to my diet yesterday and eat nearly all raw foods and was never really hungry. I did have about a 3/4 cup serving of spaghetti with my family, but it was the only real carbs and meat I had that day. Today I started with cantaloupe, cottage cheese, and grape nuts. A half cup of each, well a bit more melon than that, but that covered my proteins and part of my daily intake of my essential fiber, minerals, and vitamins. I feel a renewed energy towards my program today, and I am now off to try my hand at some beginners yoga....STRETCH FAT-MAN...  STRETCH! As always I am humbled and honored to have you with me on this journey. James.

11-26-10 Black Friday

So my plan was simple, eat lots of salad, and salad first, then sample the rest. This worked well. I made it through the family gathering and Nathaniel's  fifth birthday party with relative ease. I did small samplings and I felt great. I wasn't full or craving, I was satisfied. I even got to take a bite of both kinds of pie, and both kinds of cake. I thought I did really well.

I was starving on the way home, so when I got home I had another salad and then tried another bite of the green bean casserole my wife had made for the gathering. I was still doing well. I then finished some homework and stayed up for a while watching Nathaniel's birthday movies with him, he got a DVD pack of the last airbender cartoon and movie, so he was really excited to watch them. It was nice.

The leftovers from Thanksgiving were pulled out and left on the stove a couple of hours earlier and they needed to be repackaged to fit into the fridge. So while Nathaniel was watching the forth episode of the cartoon series, I went in the kitchen to finish this. I grabbed the bowls I needed and opened the containers the food was in, and BOOM, I was stuck there.....staring at all this food....."gurble" said the belly.... I stood there for like ten minutes. I was afraid to make a move. I was in the war of my life in my head, calculating the effects of the food, trying desperately to find an excuse to eat some and to not eat some. I was a deer in headlights and Janell was in bed so I couldn't call her for help. It felt like a lifetime.

Writing this, I feel like I built my armor strong for that day. I feel like I was prepared and did follow my plan, I feel like I had accomplished a lot for the day, and I am very proud of that. But, in the middle of the night, with no eyes on me, no one to know of my actions but me. No one to impress during Thanksgiving dinner, and no one to pat me on the head for making the right choices. I was finally, truly being tested. The real test. The one I had actually been in preparation for. The one that mattered, and I failed. I knew what I was doing as I did it and I think that is the hardest fact for me to deal with. I lasted through the whole day and was almost in the clear, because once it is in the fridge, I don't have to see it or think about it anymore. But, alas, I started by saying just a little bite of the green bean casserole. Then another, and another, and another, before I knew it, half of it was gone. Oh but wait, then there was the candied yams, I had five heaping tablespoons of that, a few pieces of turkey, four pieces of buttered bread, two cupcakes, and a slice of that chocolate chip cake that my wife bought the other day. I then started to cry and quietly sat and eat some jerky. I have been an emotional mess since then, and I feel defeated. One of my thoughts while I was shoveling all this in was I was not going to post this. I was thinking, even then, that I would cover this up and just give you the good stuff from the rest of the day. As I started to write this I started to breakdown and realize that this is exactly why I am doing this blog....I need help. As it turns out, for now, green bean casserole is my kryptonite...well it is green after all. This truly felt like I could not control myself, like more of an addiction situation, than selfish rebellion or even sabotage. My tears today are a result of the fear I discovered because I couldn't stop myself. I was thinking rationally while I did this, and yet I still did it. How am I supposed to do this? How can I succeed against actions I can't control? What am I going to do?

I was feeling this way until I confessed to my wife. She has a way of putting everything in perspective for me and reminding me of my convictions with very few words. I love her so much. Anyway, she got me thinking again and got me over my defeated feelings. I was able to step back after our talk and see this as a training exercise. I reminded myself of my comparison to Mike Tyson yesterday, and started thinking about this more like a fighter in training. I realized that the best athletes and champions in the world are defeated every now and again. What makes them a champion is the fact that they learn from the mistakes that defeated them before, and then they get their ass back up. Like in football, you are trained to have a short term memory after a game, so as to not allow yourself to either break your spirit after a loss, or get conceded after a victory. The next game is all that matters. The Cowboys game that night was a great metaphor for my day with food. I started out the game with a huge point deficit, fought all adversity through out my game and finally took the lead late in the third quarter. I held that lead until the last 8 minutes of the game, then it was like quicksand and found myself loosing by only three points....losses like these are the most painful, but there is another game coming soon, so I need to start getting ready for that one. I now have less than a month, but Christmas dinner is not going to defeat me.

11-26-10 Progress Report. Mourning a loss, recovering and seeing my mistakes for what they are, mistakes. Starting fresh today, and reevaluation of my battle plan has begun. Feeling positive again, but I apologize for not being able to give you a story of total victory. Sometimes your biggest successes in life are found in your failures, so there ya go, I am preparing for success. I love you all, and as always I am humbled and honored to have you sharing this with me. James

11-25-10 Thanksgiving weigh in

I woke up so excited to do my weigh in. I felt like this was going to be a big number because I have been feeling so much better as the week went on. I am breathing better, moving a little better, I was so excited. After all it is Thanksgiving, today has to be good right? Well, I only lost two more pounds. I was in shock, I felt a bit defeated. I was angry and on the verge of tears, because I have been really struggling this week, it felt like I really did a lot this week.

So after I calmed down, a vision of Mike Tyson popped into my head. It was his fight with Buster Douglas. This fight was the first real challenge Mike faced as a champion. I believe this was the one fight that really broke his spirit, because he never fought the same after that. This was the only time some one stood up to Mike and took his punches long enough to wear him down, then once he was winded he was easy to defeat. Mike trained to knock people out, not to fight a 13 round match.

Then, another vision came to mind. My mother's tenacious fight for providing a home for her kids. The best lesson I have learned from my mother, was to never stop working towards your goals. As a single mother of four, all she wanted, and all she talked about was getting her own home for all of us. Her fight lasted until we were all out of the house, but she finally, just recently, bought her first, all her own, house. This victory is making me cry even now. Because, no one will ever know like me and my siblings, what she went through to achieve that house. We are each, in our own way an example of that tenacity. I started working when I was 11, had my own production company when I was 16, and nearly achieved everything I wanted to in my dreams of making it in the music and film industry. My sister Ariana, is so strong and has never not known how to make it all work, usually with three jobs, but still. My brother has a fiery intellect and will never let his path be disrupted. He is wise and vigilant. Then there is Kaela, who is, against my every effort to stop her due to over-protectiveness, in the Phillipeans right now, pursuing God's mission calling on her life. She is truly an inspiration to us all, always.

My mother fought for a decade and a half at a job that did not appreciate her, and that she was way better then, through debilitating illnesses that where very disruptive to every aspect of her life, and with no help other than from the kids that she was fighting to protect. So it occurred to me. Am I going to let this "only two pounds" be a Buster Douglas moment, or a moment of triumph. I did still loose two pounds after all. I am at 523.8 and I started at 534. I also know that water retention can cause an 8 pound variance in your scale results, so either way I am still loosing real fat now.

You see Mike, even though he was a champion, he was never really challenged, he never had the tribulation-born tenacity to last out that fight. He proved to be a tin cup champion, and his Achilles heel was simply that lack of real trial. I see this "only two pounds" as Gods reminder that I have to approach this as the real challenge it is going to be. I have to see the true path in-front of me. I will struggle, I will get sick at times, I will want to scream and through fits. But I will never give up! I will buy my house one day, furnish it the way I want to, paint it and call it my own, I will show the tenacity that I have to do this. I love you Mom, I love you all, Happy Thanksgiving. Thankful and humbled by your support, and always hoping to inspire, James.

11-24-10 Craving Cure

I found a cure for one craving, that lead to another. I have had a steak craving lately, so last night Janell got me some good jerky. This nearly wiped out my craving for steak entirely. The only problem was the incredible urge for chocolate that followed. I struggled with that for most of the night until I was able to pin point that it was directly related to the salt in the jerky. I was surprised because I had only consumed about an ounce of it and I was dying for some cake. Of course it didn't help that with the purchase of all the Thanksgiving food we are making for our family get together, Janell bought her and the kids a nice moist chocolate chip cake. I was drooling as soon as I saw it and I couldn't shake it. The first steak craving was gone in a matter of minutes, but oomph! cake!, really! I mean c'mon. Just the thought of how it sweetly caresses the taste buds, while filling your mouth with delightful chocolaty yummy-ness. With the texture so smooth and almost creamy, so moist and simply, delectably, sinfully, goooood. AAHHH! (weaping)

So how did I get over it?

Well, to be honest, I am still feeling it a little, but here is what I did to help. First, last night I took a small bite of my daughters piece to break the initial craving to just taste it. Next, I ate my dried fruit, as I reminded myself of the negative physical things I am dealing with right now, and how good it feels now to be accomplishing so much. I then started a mantra in my head that you may think is funny, "I am Superman, and cake is not my kryptonite." OK, I didn't say it was cool...lol, but it was somewhat effective...lol. This is a great warm up for tomorrow's all out may-lay on my senses. I feel like a lamb to the slaughter. I LOVE THANKSGIVING!!! GRRRR.

So here's what I am going to do. I am bringing a lot of salad, starting the day with a huge salad, and when I have cravings...yup! more salad. Then when my urges are manageable I will sample small amounts. As for the incredible pies, that are no doubt going to be wafting through my sniffer all day, fruit salad first, then a teeny tiny piece of each. Other than that, I will attempt to distract myself with football. (GO COWBOYS! ya that's right I said it!). One last thing that will be a motivator I hope...tomorrow's weigh in!...YAY! So on that, pray for strength for me, and wish me luck. I will be posting my progress report tomorrow due to the weigh in. As for thanksgiving I realize some of you may not have time to read my post tomorrow, so Happy Thanksgiving, I love you all, and may your day be filled with all the joy and laughter you are hoping for and then some. Humbled by your motivation and prayers, and always hoping to inspire, James.

11-23-10 A positive addition to today's serious post!

Please read the previous post. If you did than you know how it didn't really dive in to me as much as previous posts, but it is still important info to consider. Anyway, i was out for two days and the reason was due mostly to finals. I started my new classes on Monday as well and I was a little overwhelmed. However I was extremely positive and focused. I attribute this to the changes I have made recently.

I was very depressed when I started my blog. I had very dark things in my head about my future, and I started to doubt my ability to change things. Worse than that, I knew my wife was disappointed in me. This was the biggest effect for my changes. I love my wife, and look at her as my best friend. I could see the pain in her eyes when she would look at me. I knew she would hide her tears when she saw me in pain. I was sick of her defending me to everyone.

The changes in this area are so unbelievable now. She has admitted to me that not only am I a positive influence on her, but she admitted through tears how proud she is of me and she has noticed an incredible change in me. I again remind her of the man she married. I can not tell you how empowering it is to have that change in our relationship. I have never been one to let a challenge beat me, but this has been more than that. I have uncovered demons now that would have destroyed my mission before, and now I have this new understanding and commitment unlike ever before. I attempted to touch on this in previous posts but I just don't know if I can ever explain it in a way that you can truly feel what I am feeling. This is for me, this is out of love, not self hatred. This is not just a diet, it is my new life. I am a caterpillar in a cocoon, just incubating and waiting to spread my wings.Until next post, James.

11-23-10 serious stuff!

It has been a couple of days since my last post. I had finals and some family engagements to do that prevented me from posting. I did get back on last night, but I was just too tired to do this. I apologize if you missed me, and I thank you for being there.

I have had a lot of need for  introspection lately. I have been wanting to fix a few other places in my life now, as well. I have no sleep schedule or life schedule to speak of, and I know how beneficial this is for every aspect of your life. I am also very aware of the political atmosphere we are stuck in, and yet I am still not as prepared as I would like to be in case of the worst happening. So for this post, I want to talk about my diet and integrate some survival plans that I believe everyone should be looking into. This is the "just in case" scenario that everyone should be preparing for now. You will be surprised how easy it is once you start.

The topic of diet and the topic of survival food preparation are very closely related. Dieting is learning about eating properly and budgeting your food intake, as well as making the right kind of foods available for consumption. Well, I say that this is exactly what you do for survival preparation as well. Above all, get educated on the foods you eat! I have a few questions for you to consider before we get too much farther. First, we all know that the economy is bad. We all know that natural disasters happen and there is nothing you can do about them. So, in the interest of keeping our sanity during this discussion, lets start there. Lets consider for a moment the possibility of a natural disaster knocking out your utilities, as well as possibly isolating you from the rest of the world for a time, like in Katrina. In an economic collapse, whether you believe this will happen or not, the living situation is very similar in both. How would you deal with that? How would you feed your family once the store is out of food? What does it take for your body to survive, stay clean, or even stay sane? What if your not prepared?

Now, I am not trying to freak everyone out here but I think there are some things everyone should do to prepare for the worst, all the while stay hopeful for the best. If that means adding a few extras to your shopping list every time you shop, then why not? I have a few suggestions that would also work in a diet. Complete protein is as simple as red beans and rice. Sprouts need very little light or water, and no dirt, and this is a nutrient dense food, that grows very fast. You can loose weight on these items, as well as provide life for your family in an emergency.

You only need approximately 1 cup per meal of the right foods to survive, as a larger person I know I am eating way more than that, so I would definitely loose poundage sticking to this. This also allows for a workable budget for food consumption and purchasing. Two cups is about what a comfortable diet is, so if you have the room and the budget you could and should prep for that. So how do you prepare? Start canning, buying in bulk, and bottling clean water. Bulk buying should include toiletries, spices, medical supplies, canned or can-able food, and some tools like camping gear. Actually, camping is a great survival test. Do you have everything you need to go on a two month camping trip, (or even longer if you want to go that far)? OK, so that's where you start, now that is also a great way to diet. Meaning, you can start prepping for a long diet with canning and this kind of prep, and start budgeting your food. But planning for no utilities is a bit more elaborate. For example, I live in an apartment, what would I do with my waste, fun thought right?

Budgeting your food for diets is a trial of recipes that you like, why not for survival as well? Many think of survival food as bland, all about energy and not taste. Well in a seriously long term situation for even the most prepared, this could end up being all that is available. Otherwise, in the short term situation, which is much more statistically possible, there is no reason you shouldn't have good, hearty, flavorful foods. That is, if you are prepared. Diet food used to be called cardboard, or at least rabbit food, now look at it. Diet food is undetectable nowadays, in the issue of taste and variety. The recipe's for Raw "rabbit" foods are vast now and very tasty. All I have to say is that raw food is incredible diet food, and in a survival situation, it uses almost no energy to make a great meal. Dehydrating meat, canning veggies, as well as complete meals, and stocking up on essentials is a great idea for family health, and disaster preparedness. Why would you not prepare for the worst and still keep your hope strong for the future? Those who are not prepared in a disaster are the ones who suffer the most, are you going to give shelter, or seek shelter? By integrating it into a diet you have a reason to study proper nutrients as well as food budgeting. Everyone needs to consider the great depression. What did people do back then? How did your parents and grandparents look at food? Food, over anything else equals freedom, think about it. Canned food and extra supplies are great bartering tools as well.

I believe the times we are in are not coincidental. We are here, now, for a reason. Are YOU ready?

I have current facts that support my belief that we are now in need of this kind of prep. If you would like to know more, let me know. As always, you are highly encouraged to respond to this post.

11-23-10 Progress Report. Diving deep, obviously...lol. I have found that fear and anger are triggers for my emotional eating and I am attempting to uncover the beginning causal issues that started my poor eating habits. I am considering finding a way to get the Kinect system with an X-box for working out, but that is $500 dollars that I will not have anytime soon, so if you have any ideas for fund raising or even sponsorship let me know...lol. I am also planning a healthy eating attack plan for Thanksgiving, this will be a real test of my new way of eating because I love Thanksgiving. I love you all, thanks for caring. James.

11-20-10 The Explanation

Yesterday, I posted a controversial statement to create a conversation. I stated that "Obesity is a selfish rebellion physically manifested," and I stated I would not elaborate on why I felt that way, I wanted your opinion. I will give some explanation today, but I think this may be an ongoing discussion. I like the responses I received, and there were many that just emailed me. I think I struck a chord with this statement however, and I would like to clarify, this is not to be taken as negativity or belittling to my people of fluff. I am looking at this as an emotional factor in the weight challenges we all face. I know this will not apply to everyone, and I know there are some people who have medical reasons for there weight. But for the rest, I think this applies.

First, let me define my reasoning. I was not surprised to see that many people were saying this is a coping mechanism. After all, in the dictionary a coping mechanism is defined as, "an adaptation to environmental stress that is based on conscious or unconscious choice and that enhances control over behavior or gives psychological comfort." -Dictionary.com. This seems exactly right at first, except it also gives you a crutch, and it is really only defining the actions taken, not the core internal response at the time of reaction to a stress. In other words, defining obesity or the causes of obesity as just a coping mechanism is kind of sweeping the causal issues under the rug, don't you think? Simply because this kind of obesity is simply caused by our own actions, and therefore in need of those actions defined so as to stop, we should be facing this head on. 


My view of my weight has always been defined as a coping mechanism. As I believe, most may see their issue this way, but just look where I am at. When is this no longer just a need to cope? What I discovered about myself in the last two days is that I never completely learned how to process my emotions in a healthy way. Instead of confronting causal issues, I eat, get grouchy, lash out, get funny, or get away and then I call it coping. I also do this coping in-spite of the people around me. Regardless of their feelings, I am going to do what I feel like at this "trying" moment. In this moment I really don't care what kind of  warnings I have been given, what kind of emotion I have been shown toward these actions, what kind of self hatred I have previously felt after my self indulgences, I am going to do what I feel is needed to cope. This to me is the definition of selfish rebellion. Coupling this with the "F-U" candy when someone has just called you fat, or showed you concern, or given unsolicited weight loss advice, and you have a deepening issue of rebellion. I realize that most of us are caught in a pattern of habits that define our reactions to certain situations, and this is exactly what I am talking about. Why did we start reacting this way in the first place? Why is further destroying our body our way of releasing some stress? Why can't we stop?

Your thoughts on this would greatly be appreciated.

11-20-10 Progress Report. Trying to map my triggers. No straying from my plan today, all I have left is a small snack and a quart of water for the day. Love you all. James

11-19-10 Cravings today

I am actually quite surprised, but I have had some insatiable craving today. Visions of hamburgers, pizza, and Chocolate danced in my head. I tried to fill this with carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower, not the same at all. I then tried PB on celery...nope. It was bad, I was fidgety, palms were sweating, getting moody. It was ugly to say the least. I had to go all ninja voodoo mind trance on myself. I started to notice a connection to the feelings I was having.

So here's what I think happened. I received some negative feedback yesterday. I won't go into it, but I will say these people meant well, but there is no way that they could ever understand what I am going through. I took the criticism and advice in stride and went about my day. It took till that night and now the next day to get a reaction in me. All I wanted to do was sabotage myself. I was in shock when this realization hit me. This was the first time in my life I was open enough to my own feelings to see what was causing the emotional eating, BEFORE, I did the wrong thing. The moment this reality hit home, the craving went away, and I broke down like a little baby. I was seeing what I have been doing to myself all my life.

I have come to a place in my mind, where a theory emerged that I need your opinion on. Now before I say what I am going to say, I realize some of you will be afraid to respond, due to politeness. I am asking you to overcome this and give me your honesty. Even if you email me in private at papacheeto05@aol.com. Just please let me know what you think of this, after you give it some real honest review.

Obesity is a selfish rebellion physically manifested. I have my stories and examples that I feel support this, but for now I want your opinion on this statement. Tell me why or why you don't agree. Please discuss this with me because I think I am on the verge of a new step in my journey and the definition of my journey is being molded openly through you all as well. Only through truth is my destiny achievable, so if I am wrong, I need to know, but if I am right I believe there is some healing to be done.

11-19-10 Progress Report. I was able to overcome my cravings and stick to my plan. YAY!!

11-18-10 Thursday weigh in

It has been 1 week since I decided to do this. I started at 534 lbs, and I was in total shock at that number, but not really surprised when I started to look at my eating habits honestly. I was eating nothing but fast or frozen food. My portion sizes were approxamately double what a normal persons were, and I was still eating second helpings and/or leftovers in the same meal. I was a wreck. I never calculated how many calories I was actually eating, but I know it had to be a lot. In this week I have transformed my habits and I am, for the first time in my life, happy with these changes and so unbelieveably motivated to continue.

My motivation reminds me of the diffence between just dating, and then falling in love for the first time. I know that is corny, but if you know what real love is like, you can understand this reference. It is a feeling of calm, confort, understanding, trust, and hope. It is the difference between instant gratification planning, and forevermore belief. When you have this belief in you, everything in your life is different. In this "diet" I feel like I have finally found a way of eating that fits me, and I can not see my life without it now. I would eat to fill the void in my stomach before, and now I eat with purpose and love for myself. I have never put myself in a position of actually caring for myself. I have always put me last or not a thought at all. I saw food as a confort, but in the wrong way. My tastes were developed based on hype around certain foods, rather than benefits.

11-18-10 Progress Report. I have built this up as if I had lost 300 lbs over night...lol. I have lost 8 lbs this week. The biggest difference is how I feel inside. As well as how I feel about myself. This is better than any number on a scale, but I can't hate 8 lbs. Thank you everyone for your support and comments, I can not stress it enough how much this is helping me. I love you all and hope to continue to inspire. James.

11-17-10 Busy Day

Today has been great, as well as busy. We started out with me going to acupuncture. I have never done that before so I was both excited and nervous. Excited to see if it worked, nervous because I didn't want a nerve to be struck wrong and end up with more pain. The practitioner is a masseuse, herbalist, as well as an acupuncturist. She is very well versed in all three as well as the new knowledge I have found in Raw organic foods. We had a long discussion about food remedies, my current situation, and this blog. I found myself very comfortable with her and the idea of getting NEEDLED!!...Anyway, I didn't even feel the first few go in, and then came my right knee. It felt like she shoved a railroad spike through the back of my leg and shot it through my knee cap. It was excruciating, and given my fear of a damaged nerve and additional residual pain, I freaked a little. She laughed and just adjusted the needle, and it was fine....she explained it can happen if you have scar tissue or are injured, so keep that in mind if you decide to go in for this treatment. Aside from that moment, I enjoyed the experience and I did feel better later. 

After the pin cushioning, Janell and I, had good friends come into town that we hadn't seen in quite a while. After we hung out for a while, we decided to go to Macaroni Grill for a late lunch/early dinner. I actually didn't do too bad. I had a piece of bread, and I sampled the appetizers that were ordered, as well as sampled a few bites of dessert, but all in all this is a far cry from how I would have been a week ago. I also had a decent meal, salmon with grilled veggies, and ice tea. The only thing I had all day prior to this was a raw PB&Honey on Nine grain organic whole wheat, so I had some extra calories to spare. I do regret some of the sampling, but like I said before, this is a process and I decided not to beat myself up over this one. I had a great time with great friends and great food, what more can you ask for.

So now, all I have planned for the rest of the night is homework, a light snack, and finish my water for the day. Oh and the berry-vomit...ugh!

11-17-10 Progress report. Weight will be known tomorrow, I decided to weigh every Thursday since that's when this all started. I did adjust my sugar intake today because I started to feel dizzy after blogging yesterday and I was able to determine, (with Janell's help), that this was the primary reason. I was putting myself into shock by going from such a high sugar intake to near zero intake. This is why I had the bread and tea with sugar today....that doesn't explain the bites of dessert however. That was just weakness, {shrug}. Other than that, thank you for caring, see you tomorrow. James.

11-16-10 Some noticable changes

Today, I woke up for the first time in about a month, without a headache. This was a very exciting moment because I haven't been taking any drugs since Saturday, and I usually need something for my head, something for my back, high blood pressure meds, allergy meds, et al. I have also noticed my sleep was a bit more restful last night. I woke a few times but this lack of headache tells me that I was getting air and sleep last night. I feel GOOD!....incredibly.

This also may be due to the fact that I am now on my plan 100%. I am eating high fiber, balanced protein, low starch. I am drinking 1 gallon of water a day. and either cheese or 1 glass of milk. Yesterday I started my day with just an apple and 1 ounce of cheese. Then later I had 2 cups of popcorn. I then had a big salad with vinegar and olive oil, and my dinner was a pile of steamed veggies with salmon on rice pilaf. I was satisfied, light, and happy with myself. Today, we didn't have the things I needed for breakfast and the fiber items for the day, so rather than giving in to the pantry selections, we went to the store and chose the correct items for my plan.

Some of you may consider this basic, or common sense. This is about habit replacement for me. Before this week, my diet would have went as far as the convenience of my cabinets. I have to say that this blog is such a huge motivator that I feel excited to write what I am doing , so I am excited to do the right thing. So thank you for helping me with this, just be following my journey.

I have noticed other changes, that are signs of a working fiber diet. But I don't much feel like going into that. Just know that if you are starting a high fiber diet....stay close to a restroom....and that is all I have to say about that. As for some natural remedy's I have discovered, I am waiting for a few books to arrive that go into deeper detail on this subject. But my plan is to detoxify as I go along, as well as rejuvenate the missing nutrients that my now previous eating were stripping me of. I will say, that Janell insisted on getting organic coffee, so if you watched any of the videos from the list in my previous post, you may know what I am talking about. However, I wont spoil it for you but I will say this, I am not looking forward to this at all. I did try the peroxide in the ear trick....that was interesting, and I am wondering how that is going to play out, so we will see....lol.

So I still need to get a little more diligent about my measurements, and I still need to add a few things to the fiber category. But overall I feel really good about where I am at. I apologize to those who were expecting a blog yesterday I got too busy and forgot till after I was in bed already, so I will try to get this out everyday, but if I don't I am still thinking about you all.

Progress Report for11-16-10. I have yet to weigh myself, I will be next week. I go to the acupuncturist tomorrow for pain management and I am excited about that. I feel better today and that is directly attributed to the support I have been receiving and the motivation that has given me, I have never been so enthusiastic about this issue and for that I thank all of you. I do want to add that, at our farmer's market, I have found a super-food liquid supplement that is supposed to give you all your daily needs. Two issues with this I have are, the cost, it's expensive, and the taste....it's a mix between a sweet fruity drink and vomit....mm-mm yummy. I do however feel it after I drink my serving for the day. Other than that, I love you guys and I love the posts and emails I have been getting. Thank you and keep it up. James.

11-13-10 Answered Questions

There has been a few questions asked that I have forgotten to add into my posts. So this is a catch up post, and I will start closing my blog with a progress report.

1. What is your progress as of today?  Well, so far I haven't weighed myself, But I have stuck to my daily habit change in progression towards the program I have chosen.

2. What have you cut so far? On the tenth, I made the pledge and started this blog. On the eleventh, I started upping my water and stopped on the second helpings of food. On the twelfth, I started drinking a gallon of water a day, eliminating all other beverages except a small glass of milk a day. I also started studying this subject heavily and missed an assignment at school because of it...DOH! On the thirteenth, I cut out candy...I still had some cookies though...5 OREOS....grrr, I know I KNOW!!!

3. How are you with soda? Well I have been drinking root beer a lot just prior to this expedition, but I have never been one who likes soda that much so this isn't really an issue for me. But please continue to post the info on this because i do have others reading this blog, and anything that you can think of to help out, please post. No information on here is wasted information.

4. What about the Gastric Bypass surgery? As I stated in one of my blogs, I am not sure about the western medicine quick and easy fix all approach to this. First, I am a little scared of surgery I will now freely admit. But this is only part of the issue. I have 15 people in my life now that have done this surgery and less than half have been either complication free, or kept the weight off in general. I feel this bypass creates an unnatural depletion to your system that may cause issues later in life. Osteoporosis, and other diseases like that, are directly related to bone health and mineral balance in the body, who knows what the starvation is actually doing to mineral and calcium deposits that fight and prevent such diseases. As you can see, I have my doubts, but as an open minded individual, I have a dear friend of mine offering to take me to a lecture next week to hear more about this, so we will see where my apprehension is after this. But to all those who have done this, I love you all, and I am proud of your accomplishments and very glad you have found something that works for you.

5. What do you mean by share this blog? I mean tell your neighbors, your friends, your pastors, your doctors, your mailman, your lovers and your fighters, your teachers and their dirty looks...post fliers, fly banners...raise monuments...oh whoops, a little too far I think, but you get the idea....lol

OK, so my daily progress report will now be at the end of my daily posts and i will try to answer questions here as well.

Progress report for 11-14-10. Today I am not weighing myself, but I am going to start raising my fiber intake. My goal is to be at the recommended levels on Monday, and completely on my friends program for the time being, minus the walking for now. I am in deep research mode and have ordered a few books on the discoveries I have made so far, so I will let you know if I make any changes....and any findings I have made, I will be sharing, so as to help you or someone you know. And as always, Thank you for all your notes and support, this has already been overwhelming and uplifting. Thank you all so much and please keep it up. James

What it's like to be this big.

This post may end up seeming a little negative. I do apologize for that ahead of time. However, I am going to get on record some of the challenges I face in my life right now. This is a reminder for me and why I am sticking to this change. I may not cover everything, so this is just a list I want to express right now in order to explain to those who don't know what it's like, and  to commiserate with those who do.

Life as we know it is not designed for the morbidly obese. Take furniture for example, most furniture is not designed with me in mind. I make up a small percentage of society, so I have to pay a lot for custom furniture. When I go out anywhere there is a whole new issue. I always ask for a table, because a booth will not fit me at all. I can not sit in a chair with arms, so if there isn't a chair on the floor without arms it becomes a situation where I am standing there, waiting for a chair I can use, while everyone in the restaurant is staring at me. Now I am not usually shy, but this is one of those moments where I can feel it,...moving on. Then there is the issue of furniture strength. I can't tell you how many times I have prayed to survive the minutes of sitting in the seat I have been usually forced to use due to lack of choices. I don't want to give everyone a show by re-enacting those scenes from "Shallow Hal", my agenda when I go out is to have everyone forget I am fat...I make everyone laugh and that is usually when the comfort level for me returns, simply because I know for that moment no one is seeing me as the circus freak, but rather a friend who is beyond judgment. Don't get me wrong I like being a circus freak when its by choice, but that's another blog entirely...lol. Oh and I break every couch I sit on...snap goes the wooden support.

Now there is the subject of cars. I hate cars. I am embarrassed every time I have to go somewhere. I truly look like an entire circus clown troop getting into one of those obscenely tiny cars. When getting into my wife's little ford ranger, I have been watched by people like it was a drive-in movie. I guess I can't blame them, if I saw a hippo trying on a speedo, I would stop and stare too. Then there's this situation, 4 skinny friends who want to go somewhere, with you, in what seems like a smart car, and they are confused as to why it is hard for you to close the door...and they keep asking if your OK while you hover over them and grunt because you are holding it all together just long enough to get to where you are going. OH OH and don't get me started on freaking SEAT BELTS!....WTF, they never fit, and they put the buckle under your ass crack.....well ok maybe that is just me.

Now I know they have remedy's available for all of these issues, but like I said they are all expensive.

So now, on to clothes. I hate clothes...Hate...Hate...HATE clothes. I shop at big and tall already, but even they don't always have stuff for me. I must say they do try really hard to accommodate me, and I really appreciate that. But I have yet to go in there and just find what I am looking for. I usually have to do special orders and I hate that because I absolutely need to try my clothes on first. I am also sick of shirts that are as wide as a truck but end up looking like a tube top because the designer leaves the length at regular...DUH! Oh and pants that may fit everywhere else, but come up to my neck over my belly. I want pants that are on my hips under my belly because that looks and feels like actual pants, not a freaking tent with belt loops at my chin.

OK so here is the issue that started the whole blog today. Toilets and toilet seats. The wall stalls, where the toilet is screwed into the wall and not a throne on the floor, are absolutely the biggest frustration I face. I have to hoover over those because I have broken a few, and I have seen one break and spray the occupant while I ran for the damn exit. You can imaging my fear when this is the only option and you really have to go. I think these should be eliminated, well at least for handi-stalls. As for seats, I need  to invest in a seat company because I go through them. It always starts the same way, the little feet break down, then you are surfing on the seat as you slide from side to side....sometimes this is interesting, but it really sucks when it pinches and catches things in that area. UGH! Then finally crack its done for and I'm off spending another $30.00 on a similar peace of crap seat that will be broken in a month or three.

So finally I want to take a moment to talk about the body pain. Everyday I am cramping, aching, swelling, just hurting all over. Life in pain is no life at all. It is just an endless pursuit of whatever relief you can get. I am really tired all the time as well because of the pain as well as the lack of sleep and oxygen form my lung issues and sleep apnea. As for back issues, I have had to sleep on the couch since my car accident in July of '08, this aggravates my back as much as it helps it, but with the sleep apnea in combination, I haven't found an alternative. On the couch I am able to prop myself up in ways I can't in a shared bed, but I really miss my bed. This back issue makes it hard to walk or stand for long, but this leaves me sitting which hurts my hips and tail bone, or laying down which immobilizes me more than relieving me because I lock up. So what do I do? The only way to beat all of this is to loose the beloved Buddha belly...mmm rub the Buddha, you know you like it, better hurry cause its going bye bye. James. 

11-12-10 The Nutrition Study Begins

So I woke a few times last night thinking about all the different programs I have been on through out my life. The wide range of knowledge and claims were flying around in my head and it occurred to me that I need to know a few facts for myself. I know that fundamentally any program will work (for a time) if you stick to it, but much like surgery we will only find out the true effects on the body years from now. I don't think this is a gamble I am willing to take. I realize that if I am to be successful, I am actually changing my lifestyle and eating for good. I started today by just watching a few documentaries, and I was very surprised to see what I have already found out. Granted, these are expressing a certain opinion and just like in my political studies, I will be exploring both side of this argument, but so far I am sold on the ideas I have encountered today.

"The Beautiful Truth"This is a great story of a boy from Alaska who is home-schooled. He has been given a project that brings him to the discovery of natural cures for diseases and the controversy around this topic. He ends up traveling all over north America getting answers to his research and we are along for the ride. Great story, even if it seems a little hokey at the start. The greatest discovery my wife saw, has a coffee relation that I will let you discover in the film.

"The Future of Food" and "Food Inc." These are both incredible resources that explore the same topics as "The Beautiful Truth", but they each offer a few extra facts from each other. I highly recommend all three of these movies as references and inspiration.

"Food Matters" I watched this movie first and it stood out among all these films as the most pertinent to my situation, I am not belittling any of the great information in the other three at all, I am in full belief that these are movies everyone should see. This movie is a great explanation of Orthomolecular medicine and the benefits of super-foods that is missed in today's diet. I feel compelled at this point to locate and shop at the local farmer's market and get all organic on this belly issue...lol.

In summation, I have always known the benefits of balanced healthy eating, and even though I am currently in this situation, I have remained a strong proponent for healthy eating and living. I have allowed convenience and finances to get in the way of what I have always known to be true, and now I am rediscovering my original discourse in this matter. I feel that drastic, quick fix, modern medicine is dangerous, and our true healing ability is a gift from God. The ability to regenerate ourselves is something we take for granted now, and it is grossly apparent once you take the blinders off. So, for now, I'm off to get some more info on this....oh, and coffee....lol.  

Also, I used Netflix instant play to watch these movies today....they are available right now...go watch.