I have to make this one short because of the amount of homework I have due today. I have been struggling and have not been able to shake it, the weigh in helped, but I have been too busy to really stick to my plan the way I want to. So inevitably I have been starting to feel down and cheated badly last night, it started out as an excuse because I was hungry and had not eaten for almost 7 hours, so I ordered a huge omelet and cheesy hash browns with a side of pancakes, with butter and syrup, from village inn. Then we ordered pie, because we were at village inn and that's what you do there right.
Last night I did the "I don't care cause I'm hungry" thing. The dark and sinister cousin of the F-U gorge. I also saw the return of another Nemesis, the "I can't leave that delicious looking, paid for food, on my wife's plate" monster. It was only 3 bites of chicken fried steak with pepper gravy and eggs, only one of my favorites, but still. I then sampled (we all did) everyone's pie and also eat half of my own. OK, OK, I know 7 hours wasn't that bad to go without food, but I did only eat a half sandwich, and a small bowl of cereal the entire rest of the day, and I was coming from a 1 hour hike through the re-enactment of the 70 mile journey the Jews took on there way to Bethlehem. A really cool interactive walking Christmas play. But now I am just making excuses. The fact is I made the wrong choice and i didn't care, this is what bothered me.
I made immense improvements in my life and lately I keep throwing that away. So today I started fresh, I dusted myself off and started new, I did my longer version of my exercise routine today, which means my whole Yoga and an additional 20 minute workout. Today I chose "The Biggest Looser Cardio Burn", and Holy of Holy's did it. I also did the BERRY VOMIT...BLEH! Both of which I have neglected for over a week...grrr. I also did something else, I found a new way to release some stress. I am an artist on many levels, but most of all I love the entertainment of it all. I also love to write and feel like there is a huge release from within when I do this. So combining these two passions I started a creative writing and poetry blog. Like this blog I want your input and perhaps your poems and such in the comments. I would love this to grow as well. Find it here... http://mysanctuary-bigtea505.blogspot.com/ .... By doing this, I feel like I maybe able to release some emotional ties to my food constructively and stay firm to my goals here. Join me.
As always I am humbled by your continued support and prayers. I love you all. James.
James,
ReplyDeletePeople fall and or stumble, when it happens to me it makes me try harder, I hope it does the same for you. don't beat yourself up to bad, you will get back on it and continue to move to your goal.
Scott
AND now you know what I learned when this started happening to me. Never leave the house w/o one or two snacks. Small snacks. A banana, raisons, Or raw nuts or even some cereal high in fiber in a baggie. I put something in my mouth to eat every 3 hours. It's the key to keeping the Motab high and you from feeling like your starving. Tomorrow's another day.
ReplyDeleteI believe some of all this is my fault Pops. If it wasnt for our late/early talks at Dennys... :(
ReplyDeleteBut I love you all the same and wish you luck, always do always have. I wish you would come back here though GAWD!... Miss you and I myself have lost 10 lbs. but I've had resturant food for 3 days in a row. The Jessie thing doesnt help my diet.